Lobster Capuccino THE MODERN restaurant, (MOMA NYC)

A new bistro opened up not far from my house.  Their accolades were enough to pique my interest.  Unfortunately, as I should have suspected, the restaurant was a, “Hipster Cafe.”  The first telltale sign was this item on the menu, 

“…peppercorn-crusted Bourgeoise Farms beef tenderloin…”

Okay, so “Bourgeoise Farms” wasn’t actually what was printed, but the focus of my rant isn’t the ranch itself, so I am withholding the name (which in reality is a great beef supplier). 

I’m not opposed to listing the provenance of ingredients on a menu.  As someone with a voracious appetite, I’m always interested in the particular details of the dishes I order.  HOWEVER, I am very much opposed to using source names to embellish an otherwise, mediocre establishment. 

Where did this listing of origins begin?

Chef Alice Waters emerged as a hero of the Organic Food movement in the 1970’s and 80’s.  At her Chez Panisse eatery in Berkeley, Chef Waters championed the use of locally-sourced and organically farmed and raised produce, meats, and other ingredients.  When she contacted Bill Niman’s eponymous ranch as a source for pork, to declare her devotion to Niman’s organic ideals she featured his name and logo on her menus.  Chef Waters started a major trend and today we are bombarded with menus that list every place that every ingredient comes from.  

In a world of food blogs, Yelp, and FoodTV, Niman Ranch STILL carries weight when people see the name and logo on menus around the country.   While I can’t speak directly about Niman Ranch and their product today, the problem really is that we haven’t the slightest clue if any of these places are high-quality, organic, or even real.  Somewhere in our minds we’re thinking, “It MUST be good.  ‘La Merde Farms’ sounds so fancy.”

I’m not a conspiracy theorist, and I’m not opposed to the listing of ingredient origins on menus.  But they’re definitely overused:

“Niman Ranch choice beef crusted with Kentucky peppercorn relish and Yakima potatoes served with Salinas Valley greens.”  Um.  

Truth, this DOES sound appetizing (and that’s why I ordered it).  What I got, however, was an overly-peppered, well-done charcoal briquet of a skirt steak, burnt fingerling potatoes and a wilted salad.  FAIL.

A good steak doesn’t need a description filled with geography lessons and binomial-nomenclature.   And a bad steak isn’t made better by a good description.  

I am a believer in flavor above all else when it comes to food. I generally pay little to no attention to embellishments like those I have listed above, though I do find them interesting (especially if it’s something exotic).  I saw a skit recently on “Portlandia” that perfectly illustrates the beef that I have with all this (or rather, the chicken).  

As outlandish as this skit is, I’ve been to restaurants where this is not far from reality.  In fact the Hipster Cafe that I am writing about is probably on its way to listing the names of the cows on their menus.  

“I’ll order the ‘Daisy’ steak please.”

- M